to all the dreamers:
go ahead and build your air castles;
let no one tear them down.
you are just as strong as they;
but your armor doesn't show.
there are no heroes, nowadays.i
do you ever wonder,
if eirene just gave up,
knowing we’d never be at peace with ourselves?
& my poetry is sick, dying,
even it doesn’t want to face the world, anymore.
maybe i’ll look back when i’m 20 (or dead)
and wonder who i even was,
back when i thought there were happy endings.
[i know the truth: there are no heroes, nowadays]
.& god, doesn’t he know
i need him like i need breath
and he’s worth the universes i see in his eyes,
he calls himself monster,
but really he’s my angel,
and don’t tell me there are angels all around me
[i already have one.]
51& she was one step away from irredeemable,
two from being saved,
but she never wanted more than a star-crossed kiss.
(she never did get one)
and she was stuck begging,
lover, death, can't we dance just
one more time?
life is but a dream& she said,
let me tell you, winter’s girl,
we’re not getting any further from our nightmares,
all we do is waste day by day.
and i say,
well, well you are not helping,
miss fire-eyed lunatic,
you’re no more right than me,
and maybe all we’ve lost is a step,
not the whole path.
(she says i’m pathetic,
hope is a daydream for fools and priests)
find your way home to mommy,
cuz you’re fading, fading,
and i’ll do naught but watch.
(she never was one for kindness.)
[well tell me how to get out of this head,
i don’t want it anymore.]
50& he says
you say you are healed,
but your heart is red and raw.
confess, little girl, you are what you always were:
[i tell him he’s wrong; really,
we’re all broken-hearted,
but hey at least it’s something.]
lavender& mother said
you weren't born with ice in your veins,
you used to be warm,
and i said
'mother dear i can't change this'
and she replied
yes, you can,
you burned your bridges, now burn yourself.
i am incendiary and inflammatory,
but i will never be your sunshine-hearted girl
and she said
if you keep thinking of graveyards,
you will end up in one.
[it doesn't matter,
and she says she never cared anyway.]
this is you and me and both of usi have never missed you like the beat under my skin
(s k i p p i n g and sttttuttering)
you are more constant than that,
and it’s less like an ache and more like a hollowness
(oceans aren’t enough to keep us apart,
but miles sure do try)
and i tell myself that i’m green and growing
(but really i am grey, fading, fading)
and i wish i could show the brighter side of life
but it’s hard to do when i stare at old bricks and new sidewalks
and think the world is going to hell.
[and this was meant to be a love poem,
but the ghosts are chasing the monsters out,
and i don’t know which i am, anymore.]
how to love medon’t.
run as fast as you can,
tell me every word in your heart,
but don’t love me,
because i will never let you go,
[and no-one wants to be held down,
people drown like that, don’t you know.]
i tend to lose myself in ocean-grey daydreams,
listening to dialtones and voicemails,
but never being brave enough to pick up the phone,
never being wild enough to answer it.
don’t love me, but do,
because no matter how many walls you build,
or bridges you burn,
love sneaks its way in,
steals the china & breaks the sink,
and we’re left with nothing but the pieces.
I'd Rather Be DeadYou're always asking me if I had anything worth dying for.
I'll pose the opposite to you and ask you this:
"Why is it that you find life to be worth living?"
Is it so interesting to go through each day feeling anxious?
To the point that you feel nauseated enough to collapse.
Is it so joyous to spend each night staring at a blank ceiling,
Hearing the clock tick on toward morning,
And yet you lie awake.
Tired, but awake, emotionless, but awake...
Do you truly get up each day, facing it with optimism.
Or do you look at the news and the state of the world,
And genuinely fear for your safety?
Now, if it were me that you had asked my dear,
I'd tell you quite honestly: That I'd rather be dead.
At least I would not have to hear the white lie inside my head.
That tomorrow will bring me a 'better' day...
But of course, you are welcome to believe that.
Bully You're ugly.
You'll never amount to anything.
No one will ever like you.
If you think he'll stay, you're mistaken.
You have no friends.
People hate you.
You are a freak.
You have no place here.
You are nothing more than a coward who
is too afraid to step outside half the time.
Your face is like something from a horror movie.
No one will ever truly fall in love with you.
Guys want girls that are beautiful and face it,
you are considered everything but that.
Hide behind your hair dye because you want to
feign like you don't care.
But inside the cruel eyes of others burn holes into
You will never amount to anything.
The only thing you will ever be good for
is cleaning up dog shit.
You will never be good enough.
Why bother even dreaming?
How can you consider the possibility of love
when everything you do, the way you look, walk,
talk, move, think, can only ever be seen as
Not only is the outside hideous;
the inside is no better.
Why do you think you've
Stripping MeYou may take what you want from me,
Be it my pride or dignity.
You may throw insults at me,
And burn the shredded pieces of my sanity.
You may belittle me, as much as you want,
If only to make your meager life worth living.
But even if you do all that...
No one will protect you when I pull you into the dark.
No one will try to search for you, as my leather ropes tie you down.
No one will hear your screams as metallic screws drive into your face,
Etching an eternal smile, since you'll never leave this place...
"Now then, my dear sweet James, shall we play our favourite game?"
We Only Live To DieThis is what we live for—these whispers on our lips
The drying bits of blood on our paper-cut fingertips
Opening the letters that we left our future selves
A bittersweet reminder of those storybooks on the shelves
This is what we live for – this emotion in our souls
The torture and the bittersweet moments of lost control
Biting cracked lips with the dirt beneath our nails
These moments of imperfection as our trains of thought derail
This is what we live for – shutting doors and opening eyes
Smiling for a moment, before the tears reveal our lies
This is what we live for, this reality, this life…
This is what we live for,
As we only live
Past Tense BluesWases
So are weres;
And it's the becauses
That make them feel
That much worse.
You're Going to be Okay.It’s not your fault.
It’s not what you deserve.
Don’t think that way,
Because one day,
This won’t matter anyways.
Keep your head held high for now,
I know it hurts,
Words can feel suffocating.
As you feel like your lungs are collapsing,
Under the weight of the pain,
In your chest.
I know it stings,
And it seems like it takes forever for the bell to ring.
As you count down the hours.
But it doesn’t matter.
When you just go home,
To sit in your room alone.
Because words unlike bruises don’t go away.
Once they are said they are here to stay.
And silence is excruciating.
But being in a crowd of violent stares,
Is no better.
So where do you go?
Is the question you’ll never know.
But don’t give up just yet!
Things will not always be like this.
Yes, today seems hopeless.
Tomorrow seems worse.
One more day of hearing another hateful word.
Might make your head explode,
And sometimes you want to drive yourself completely off the road.
You are someone's reason to liveShe had skin like a cactus-
could only hurt
anyone who got
she held what
You have to know pain to....Sometimes you have to fall apart.
You have to bleed out,
In order to have the courage to shout.
Against the darkness.
You have to know what it's like,
To feel disconnected,
To be best friends with your anxiety,
Because it's the only thing to keep you company.
Because you've never felt so lonely.
Even though you're surrounded in a sea of noise,
Which drowns out your voice.
As you choke,
On society's noose
You're afraid to cut it loose.
Because you don't know what others will think of you.
You have to know depression.
You have to know what it's like to be alone.
You have to know what it's like to be silenced.
In order to appreciate breathing,
And to fall in love with colors.
After being blind,
For all of that time.
And only being able to see memories,
In order to appreciate a person's presence.
And the feeling,
When you finally find a friend.
Who will stick with you until the end.
And not judge you for your scars.
But loves who you are.
RapeI am a seventeen year old boy
I have determination in my bright blue orbs.
My smile can calm even the strongest tempest.
My friends are nothing short of amazing,
and my family...well, they are some of the most
supportive people I have in my life.
I'm going to make it big. Have a family,
live in a big house.
I'm going to marry my princess, have money
I'll be happy.
And my children will look up to me,
so will my wife. I'll protect them,
I'll be their role model.
I'll be the grandpa my grand kids love.
I'll live a long life, until it's time for me to go.
And even then, I'll be smiling down, not ready
to really depart from happiness.
I'm a seventeen year old boy,
and my tears stain my ruffled jacket.
I can't smile like I used to, but I try.
But I'm still so lonesome.
Where were the friends that understood me?
Where was the family that supported me?
They try, but I can't let them in.
My future crumbles, my wife vanishes,
my children...their children, drown in the