to all the dreamers:
go ahead and build your air castles;
let no one tear them down.
you are just as strong as they;
but your armor doesn't show.
Untitledwait—look before you leap
i don’t bleed silver
and my ribs aren't made of gold
(i am a girl of glass and oil—
shining, with a dirty core.)
Untitledmy blood says love is pain,
and that is why i bleed
-i bleed for loves i never had-
[i bleed for the one i do.]
coldblue says i’m a pessimist
(does he know what it’s like,
being winter, being death?)
& there are things i can’t let go
i shiver, and he walks across my grave,
says i’ll put you in there someday.
inner demons (they are the darkest kind.)love says i’m ripping at two hearts
mine and his
that’s how i know
that’s how i’m sure you love me)
& when i bleed, he does too.
[all these things i cannot say rot-
they claw at me,
trying to get free.]
(i love you goddammit,
i love you and so i must bleed.)
[red says i am a masochist-
first time he’s been half-right.]
noctemn/inverniif you must know how i bleed
look to the night-moon
see her thin, day by day
-she is empty,
she is cold-
just like i was/am/always will be
& i am no fox-blood,
i am just wearing a mask
[my teeth are stained bloody-
love, i rip out hearts.]
In the fire: firefightShe’s there, on the balcony. There’s no mistaking it, this is the woman burned into my mind.
Before I can find a way to her, she is beaten, dragged off to who knows where.
Soon, guards surround me, guns cocked and pointed at my head.
I curse, looking around for anything to use as a weapon. I find a branch and bare my teeth at them, growling.
“Come on, either fight me or flee like the cowards you are!” they advance and I jump, running off into the night.
They catch me, of course. My body isn’t built for running, anymore than the human body is built for ripping flesh.
Fortunately, ripping is my strong suit.
I turn as a gunshot pierces the air, cracking my branch against a man’s skull. I leap, grabbing onto the window frame above me and swinging into the half-burnt barn.
Guards follow; I try to be as silent as possible as I floor one, grab his gun, and run.
Of course, he yells and grabs ahold of my tail. I fire one shot, into his head, and he goes limp&
In the fire: encounterI think I am going crazy. I see my Tal everywhere, despite the fact that he’s dead, and I saw him buried.
I’m desperate for certainty; I know I will never get it. Every time I catch a glimpse of what I think may be my love, I am swept along roughly, with barely time to glance at him.
My life is no longer my own.
I am Archer’s now, his toy, his possession. He has me trapped like a mouse…and he plays well at being a cat.
My Tal has been three months in the grave, but there are parts of him that live on…I try to hide it, but the child within me is by no means Archer’s. I’ve only barely started to show, and Archer takes pride, thinking that it’s his.
I know differently…I’m not sure how I know, but there’s a certainty, deep in my bones, that this child is his.
Of course, if it is, Archer will never let it live.
I sit in Archer’s room numbly. Tonight, he aims to propose to me. If I dared, I would say no, curse this devil
In the fire: remembranceIt’s a universal law that desperate people do stupid things.
Tal was no exception. For his freedom, he had sold his soul, and for his sight, he had sold his freedom, his memories, and his heart.
Not a bad trade, in his opinion. After all, he hadn’t truly experienced freedom in years; a warrior he was, through and through. And now, on megadoses of venom that would’ve killed any human, he felt powerful.
His blood was poison; his heart was death.
His old life was foggy, now, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d lost something…and he couldn’t remove that one face from his mind…the face of a girl, dark and thin, with eyes bluer than the morning sky.
I curse, shaking my head. Whatever life I used to have, it is long gone now. Ever since Lord Archer lifted me from the hell I used to live in, my head has been empty; my heart has been peaceful. Whoever that girl was, she’s a part of things I’ve left behind. I can’t let the
DedicatedAll things begin in darkness.
Darkness is where we spring from, and it is where we shall all return…some of us sooner than others.
It is ironic, I suppose, that we all assume light is life…light is a falsehood. In light, things rot, things die. In the darkness, we live forever.
There is a cult of the Dark Oblivion, and it has spread quickly, like wildfire, like plague infesting all places that light doesn’t touch—I am proud; perhaps there is some hope for humans after all.
Of course, there would be no need for the cult had not humans been foolish.
The day we tried to extend our lives, we sealed our death.
The day that we eliminated disease, we brought the axe down upon our own necks.
Humans are so egocentric; we think ourselves the rulers of ourselves, of this world—we fancy ourselves gods. There is only one god: death.
I am roused from my musings, grudgingly, by Sophia. She, unlike I, believes in the good of the world.
“Luis, Juan says it’s ti
School, Tests, and All The RestI'm not smart enough for this.
I have no answer for this question.
The more I search my brain,
The more I feel inadequate.
I cannot fathom the correct answer.
Didn't I study this for hours?
Why is your intellect based
On such trivial things?
Apparently, I am not as smart as I thought.
Why don't I know what to write?
This test is a nightmare.
Why can't I get this right?
The only thing about me I was proud of
Has now vanished
Because my textbook knowledge
Wasn't up to par.
Letters to all the people I have kissedi. Rob
I expected a knight in shining armour but you were
just a boy, just a boy.
you flirted and you teased and you kissed me
at midnight on new year’s eve and set the tone
for that whole god-forsaken year.
I could taste lies on your tongue and doubt in your fingers;
you said you were a taurus but you were gemini all over.
friends shouldn’t kiss in the kitchen and
friends shouldn’t drink gin together and
friends shouldn’t cry, drunk on misery, and
friends shouldn’t break another friend’s heart and
I’m still sorry.
I expected just a boy but you were
a knight in shining armour, silver to the pretty
ivory teeth, who was looking for a damsel and found
only don quixote, tilting at windmills and refusing
to be saved.
we were drunk and you were more beautiful
under the harsh car park lights than I had noticed before
and you were mid-sentence and I was mid-hiccup and
we still laugh about it now.
I was imperfect.
I was the lie.
I was not honest.
For I am sorrow.
I'm not worth it.
There's no tomorrow.
Why didn't anyone listen?
Why didn't anyone see?
I am just a mirror
of what's to be!
I am empty.
I am gone!
I am nothingness.
I'm a fraud!
So please forgive me...
because I'm needy...
and you don't need me:
you need no one.
.my head has become a
teeming with ugly whispers and most days
i just want to get drunk
it's too much:
sitting in a history class where
the teacher just drones on
like a broken record about how in sixty years
we'll all be suffocating on the exhaust fumes
of our parents' sins.
driving on a clustered highway
in an empty car with half a tank of
gas getting passed by people too
occupied to live their lives.
contemplating a black hole pompous
enough to call itself the
future as an insatiable
debt worms its way into
the valleys and canyons of
my skin and bones.
give me a scalpel and
open up my skull.
exterminate these savage vermin
from my mind before
my veins turn black from their
toxic desires and my heart stops
beating the moment i close my eyes.
Dear MeDear me, I know we've had disagreements
And that we don't always see eye to eye,
But the last thing I want for you
Is to feel like you have to say goodbye.
Dear me, I know you've been hurting a while
And I know that you're sick of the misery,
But just keep holding on a day at a time
And someday you'll find yourself set free.
Dear me, I know you've been crying.
I've seen your demons give chase.
Smile instead for things will get better.
Wipe those tears off your pretty face.
Dear me, I know your heart is breaking,
Like your being is shattered in two,
But please, don't give up just yet.
The survival rate is too few.
Dear me, I see that you're struggling,
That you feel like you're on the brink.
But keep pushing forward, keep fighting.
You're much stronger than you think.
Dear me, I feel so proud of you.
You've made it out alive.
You're happy now with all you've gained.
You've reached all for which you did strive.
Just SmileJust Smile
The rush of the wind, right beneath your feet.
It's knocked you down, on the left of the street.
People will laugh, people will mock, and people will scorn
Sometimes, like me, you wish you've never been born.
But like my dearest friends taught me, just smile
Smile during the good times and try your darn hardest when dealing with the bad.
This world is bleak, it has a lot to frown over, so just look life in the face and grin.
Tell it, “no matter how bad you treat me. I'm not going to let you win!”
Keep moving my guy, gal, no matter what you look like or how you sound.
There's one thing hatred can't take away from from this earth,
and that's the fact that frowning is more strenuous on the face.
So make your life, and your body feel much better by
Friendship DeterminedShe felt the pain of a thousand deaths.
Things would never again be the same.
Alone, bereft - with no one to stop her hurt -
Yielding to the need to curl in on herself,
Wallowing in pain, she crumbled.
Internal bleeding that could never be healed
Tore her soul into a million pieces.
Heart aching and refusing to beat,
Maddening agony crippling her mind,
Encompassing her whole being.
Abandoned was how he found her then.
Lacing his arms around her fragile form,
Wrapping her in the blanket of his love.
Acknowledging her need to purge the pain within,
Years of false truths finally coming to light,
Shushing her wails, he held her tightly.
Broken Dreams"Go ahead, dream big," they liked to tell you.
"Send your hopes up to the sky."
They told you that whatever you believed in,
Those happy thoughts in the back of your brain,
It could all be true if only you believed.
That's all they said you needed to do, right?
To believe it was possible?
Sure, there were also mentions of hard work,
Mentions of putting in effort.
But every time, you were told to believe.
And you believed with all your heart.
Your dreams were larger than the earth itself
Stretching and growing far out of ordinary grasp.
And you worked hard too.
You wanted that dream more than anything.
You longed for the happy future it offered.
But there's a problem with large dreams.
You see, the bigger your dreams are,
And the more time and effort you invest in them,
The more it hurts when it all comes crashing down.
HopeWhen no one else ever seemed to notice me,
You were the first to say "hello".
And you did so with beaming joy.
When I felt so outcast and alone from the world,
You were the one who sat by my side.
And listened with an open heart.
When no one else would acknowledge my very existence,
You were the one to reach out and bare your soul to me.
And you made me feel like somebody.
When I thought of so many reasons to die...
You became my reason to live...
And I will never forget that.