bitter

i
i have loved a boy with a heart like the moon,
but desperation bit in,
i did not drag him into it,
because i could never drag him out again.

ii
tearing him apart is killing me, too.

iii
i will let you in on a secret:
i have loved twice,
i still love.
wolf-boy [i still think of him as a star]
he did not know i am winter,
he tried to tame my seas.
my hero-boy, he knows,
knows when i am bitter and biting,
that is when i need him most.  

iv
i do not want to be a supernova,
i don’t want to kill everything i touch.

v
i am a supernova,
and a sea of tears will never change that.

vi
tell me, have you heard this one before?
the story of the girl who broke it all,
miss cheated elsie,
she just wanted love,
but she broke broke broke like a mirror,
like the thread of the fates.  

vii
i am bitter,
like the bile rising at the back of my throat,
i will wear my hands to the bone,
writing like this,
i will search for a pulse and never find it,
after all, when was the last time a corpse had a heartbeat?